So I discovered this little program about 2 years ago, the I-Doser, according to the site this is:
I-Doser Labs is the leading producer of Binaural Brainwave CDs and computer applications. Using proven, scientific, and safe methods of synchronizing your brainwaves; a simulated state can be achieved through the use of our advanced audio CDs, or the I-Doser Application, and a pair of high quality stereo headphones. Our Binaural process has been refined with years of research and development. With thousands of satisfied users, the I-Doser Labs CDs, MP3s, and the I-Doser Application for PCs continue to lead the industry as the only safe and effective method to achieve a simulated mood or experience.

Recreational Simulation CDs and MP3 are collections of binaural doses on standard audio CDs or MP3s. Each audio track contains our advanced binaural beats that will synchronize your brainwaves to the same state as the recreational dose. Mixed with our advanced auditory pulses are soothing backtracks of ambient soundscapes to help the brain induce of state of mood lift, euphoria, sedation, and hallucination. I-Doser CDs and MP3s are also perfect for using with iPods, other MP3 players, or through a regular CD player.

I-Doser for the PC is the most advanced computer application available to achieve a simulated mood or experience through the use of binaural beats. Use I-Doser to play doses purchased through the I-Doser Store. Each dose is scientifically designed to give you the optimal measure of pure beats safely and effectively to induce state. Every download of the I-Doser application includes two free doses.

So... I was quite skeptical when I encountered it , I tried a few doses, without the recommendations the web has, so none did much of effect until i tried Anesthesia, I was knocked out in about 3 minutes and after the dose ended I continued to sleep soundly for 6 hours straight, the second time I used it , it made me sleep for about 8 hours... but then I had stuff to do so I never tried again.
And still I found my self skeptic last night so I decided to give it a try again. So I used morphine, and it was good, faded, just a glimpse of alteration of my usual train of thought... and then I tried Black Sunshine.... It was totally out of my mind, first the colors were sooo much bright than they usually are, and then I had a tree on my desktop wallpaper, I saw the tree grow, and it's roots were reaching to my keyboard, and the clouds were sliding quietly in the sky above the tree, and the water in a lake started to flow. When the dose was almost over my wallpaper changer, put a willy wonka wallpaper, and it was so full of colors it freaked me out a lot, my heart was racing, and when the dose ended I still saw the colors so vibrant and bright... I had to use the "reset" dose to go back to normal...

was a pretty fucked up experience... now I am a true believer. I-Doser is sooo cool.
http://www.i-doser.com/

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There once was a girl and she chopped potatoes. One day she suddenly felt the sharp of the knife sinking in her flesh. It was a moment of sharp, hot pain, then the red followed. She stared at her palm gaping at the wound, feeling an unexpected tickling on the back of her chest. Also she felt a little wet inside of her skirt, as the blood slithered from her fist to the floor.
"It burns", she thought, "But not in my hand". Shivers of pleasure crawled up her spine.
But then mom came and yelled, not out of shock or concern, but with anger as her beautiful clean kitchen was tainted with red.
Now he girls longs to be asked to chop vegetables again, waiting the moment of get sloppy and feel it afresh.
"Fool, silly girl, you'll never cut vegetables for me ever again" mother would scream every time, but later she forgot and let her take over the chore once more.
And the girl would sleep in her bed pushing her thumb against the cut in her palm feeling the hot, sharp pain crawl down on her spine and die in her undies with a suffocated moan.

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remember a few months ago I posted some pictures about a river without water at all and all the vegetation that grew in there because the lack of water?

Yesterday was another story, it rained for 3 hours, and here is how it looked like last night

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I can't understand where this sadness is coming from...
I just feel like nothing matters, when clearly I need to bring all my energy to the start of the new term.
And everything is cool except for him being 450 kilometers away.
I feel so dumb -__- I was just with him in the weekend and I am missing my bf like a maniac, but I can't bring me to stop feeling sad.

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I've got a headache, I haven't been able to sleep properly because each time I lie on my bed I start crying over he don't calling me again.
I slept like 3 hours out of exaustion but as soon as I wasn't that tired started crying again...
so I keep my self busy... trying not to think too much.

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I've just modified the layout of my nutang xD I used one very girlie
I'm feeling girlie lately


^-^

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I haven't heard this song before today, but I was using my Stumble-upon! firefox addon and suddenly it pops up, and it summed perfectly all the feelings i've been having since my boyfriend had to go away for work -_-
I miss him so much and he doesn't seem to be moved by the distance or Idunno, maybe I just feel so miserably and expected to him to feel the same without me.

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for a long long while.
I don't have much to say either.

My boyfriend has been gone for a month and a half, he had to work in another city. Being away has been more difficult than I thought it would be. I'm so fucking depressed, even though he is coming to see me this weekend, it's like my heart doesn't understand that, and it feels lonely nonetheless.

He arrives on friday. I hope my mood improves then.


I'm watching pirates of the caribbean. I love pirates stories.


earlier my dog was sleeping by my feet while watching this movie, when we heard around 4 or 5 gunshots, he was so scared I could feel his little heart pounding so hard in his chest. I was scared too I lied down as soon I heard the first gunshot, and trying to lie my dog down too. Then I heard a car start and go really fast and then another, then I knew it was all over. My dog didn't and was all scared the poor little thing. I stayed in the floor with him for a long while, until he was asleep again.

this city is so dangerous lately.

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